Interview with Jake! WOW...

Interview with Jake
(Star of CM Hutton’s novels Paradise Taken and Saving Us)




Interviewer:  
Hi.  Thank you for taking the time to sit with me for an interview.  

Jake:  
You’re welcome.  

Interviewer:  
Well, let’s get started.  I know we have tons of fans that want to ask a few questions.

Jake:  
Great!

Interviewer:  
I think after reading both books and seeing how your relationship with Kaye began…well, at least when and how long you’d loved her…WHY after all those years of keeping your feelings for her to yourself, did you decide to tell her only when all of you were living on St. John?  Why not tell her in college, Jake?  What held you back?

Jake:
You know, I was so tired of having a one sided love affair.  I wanted to tell her and see how she would react.  In all honesty, I think a part of me wanted to hear Kaye reject me so that I could get over how I felt about her.  I knew living on that island was going to be a challenge.  Seeing her day after day, it became clear to me that I couldn’t keep quiet. 

As far as telling her in college, I was young and stupid…afraid of her rejection.  I wrestled with the idea CONSTANTLY.  I think my fear of permanently pushing her away with a confession, scared the hell out of me.  So, I opted for not saying anything and loving her from the sidelines. 

Even when she freaked out right before her wedding to Rob and asked if I thought she was doing the right thing, I couldn’t bring myself say “Hell no!  You shouldn’t marry Rob.”  She loved him and I loved her too much to break her heart. 

You have to remember that she never had any idea that I was in love with her.  So, I assumed when I finally did confess, she would tell me to ‘fuck off’ and I’d be forced to give up.  

Interviewer:
But, you pursued her pretty heavily when you guys were on the island, don’t you agree?

Jake:
Yes.  I did.  

Interviewer:
Is that regret I hear in your voice?

Jake:
No…not for pursuing Kaye.  I’d held in my feelings for twenty years.  It was eating me alive.  My regret comes from what I did to everyone else.  

Interviewer:
You mean Claire and the kids.

Jake:
Yes.  She may have married me knowing I had lingering feelings for some girl in college, but she didn’t deserve for me to continue to love someone that didn’t love me back.  I’ll always regret that.  

Interviewer:
Do you think Claire ever thought about leaving you?

Jake: (laughing) I sure as hell hope she did!  She would have been a fool not to entertain the idea…many times.  And Claire is no fool.

Interviewer:
So, in your book (Saving Us), you tell us all sorts of details about what happened after Kaye got pregnant and you two were fighting to be together.  We even saw the heartache and pain that YOU felt about leaving Claire.  Was there ever a moment when you considered staying with Claire and letting Kaye go…to be with Rob or to be on her own?

Jake:
No!  The conflicting emotions I felt had more to do with an internal battle of feeling happy about where my life was going with Kaye and the pain I was causing to have it.  I will always have a deep love for Claire.  No doubt about it.  And having her say good-bye to me…in the way that she did…nearly tore me apart.  I just wanted to make her pain go away.  But staying with her wasn’t the answer.  There would've always been doubts and there would've always been regrets.

Interviewer:
If there was one thing you could do differently, what would it be?


Jake:
I ask myself that same question over and over.  I’m not sure.  

If I said ‘confessed to Kaye in college,’ I probably wouldn’t have my three amazing kids.  If I said ‘kept my mouth shut,’ I would have continued to only give Claire my mediocre love.  Or if I said ‘divorced Claire to pursue Kaye,’ well, that I did consider for a while, but just couldn’t go through with it.  Kaye was living her life and had no idea how I felt.  It was the perfect storm of all of us living in one place at one time that pushed me over the edge and had me confessing.  

I guess I feel grateful for that.  Had I confessed from a distance or on one of our many trips, I don’t know if Kaye would have reciprocated.  She was in a complacent phase of her marriage…like we all experience from time to time and when I told her, it just clicked.  

Interviewer:
Well, I want to thank you for spending a little time with me.  You have a huge set of fans that love you and Kaye…together…even if the circumstances weren’t ideal.  And, with you telling us YOUR story in the second book, well it just makes us love you more and have so much compassion for Claire too.  

I just have one or two more questions.  

Jake:
Okay.  Shoot.

Interviewer:
Will we hear much more from you and Kaye?

Jake:  (laughing)
Well, I’m sure you’ll see us around and hear little tidbits about our family, but I believe our affair and coming together has had enough attention.

Interviewer:
Fair enough.  Well, last question…what is the one thing you want our readers…your fans…to know about you?

Jake:
That I loved Claire and always will.  And I love my kids.  Being with Kaye has been a dream come true and even though I royally screwed a lot of things up, I don’t regret any of the relationships with anyone around me…even Rob’s.  I…we hurt him.  Hurt people do really stupid things.  I can attest to that.  

Interviewer:  
Jake, thank you so very much for chatting with us.  Your honesty and candor have been refreshing.  And I think I speak for fans out there when I say, please don’t be a stranger.  We’d love to hear from you and Kaye anytime.  

Jake:
Thank you.  I’ll be sure to pass the message on to Kaye.  Take care.



4 comments:

Jammie said...

OMG Totally "JAKE" I LOVE this interview!

MHarrell said...

I loved hearing Jake's point of view. Even after reading Saving Us, this interview gives more insight to the amazing love story! Thank you!

Jennie Lee said...

Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I'm sure it was hard for all of you but life has a way of working itself out. Love truly conquers

CM Hutton said...

Thank you all for reading the books and loving my Jake. :)